Brayden

The world is yours…. Do with it as you may. But be warned.

It’s a lovely, terrible, fickle thing.

Filled with joy, sorrow, laughter and pain.

Be patient when it rages and enjoy when it gives.

Mindful of your actions and thoughtful with your deeds.

Give of your kindness and temper your wrath,

Love unconditionally with eyes wide open.

Be friend,adviser, protector and confidant.

Be unafraid to give love and receive it as well.

Be proud of yourself but mindful of your faults.

Speak truths as needed, but always with love.

Our time here is short and you will have regrets….

Learn from them. Do not be chained down by them.

Always learn, you will never know it all.

There will always be something that life and the people around you can teach.

But do not listen blindly… Listen through the filter of your mind and heart.

In times of sadness and sorrow, know yourself, know your heart.

But most importantly, always know that you are, and have always, been loved.

My wish for you as a father is that the hope, love, joy and happiness that you bring… no… that

you’ve brought to my life shines through. Not just to everyone around you, but to yourself.

Be the light unto this world that you have always been to me.

I love you son.

Dad.

Feel bad dad

A baby boy a darling wife the American dream of a perfect life. Head to work all day, have to bring home the pay. Come home, sit down, relax. . Oh wait can't there's the car to wax. Take a moment to read my favorite blog, well maybe after I feed the dog. Then cook a dinner, make sure it's delicious. . Oh and by the way don't forget the dishes.  Purchasing this dream beats you to the pavement, then you find out that it's just the down payment! But when you start to think you just can't take it, that there's no way you'll ever make it. You look in your child's eyes, he smiles and sighs. The wife gives you a hug, tells you she loves you with a foot rub. You realize you're not alone, you're working to build a home. So kiss your child and hold him tight. Tell your wife she's beautiful and the love of your life.  The sacrifice has paid off, you gambled and won.  You found your soulmate shes truley the one.You love and are loved and every day when your gone you're missed.

If...

If only you would have asked...
Seen beyond my past.
Listened to my words.
Heard what was assured.
If only you had looked....
Instead of reading books..
You would have felt, a love to make you melt.
If only you would feel.
The me that's actually real.
The one that no one see's.
With you I feel at peace.
I try to let you see.
The me I want to be.
The one who still wants love.
I only need a shove.
But this I am denied.
Though I've held you while you cried.
You speak of doubts so bold.
and you leave me in the cold.
When all i want is you
to hold, dear and true.
Now a friend is all i'll be.
Because you will never see.
A love that you let go.
One you'll never know.
You're stuck inside the past
With a love you cant get past.
I hope that its the one.
Because you and I are done.

The first steps a doozy.

From my soap box I will fall.

It actually wasn't hard at all!

From How could you, to how could I.

I judged harshly and without mercy.

Yet was judged with kindness and love.

How can a friend I have know casually on and off for 5 years treat me better, than I treated some one I loved deeply for 10!

I owe an apology I hope i'm man enough to give one day...

I've seen my life in the bottom of a bottle, through the eyes of a girl.

A life lived in fear.

During many a war, people lived in fear of persecution and even death.

History teaches us about these struggles. About people who want nothing more than to live a life of their choosing.

The revolutionary war, world war II, The Spanish crusades. We identify with the oppressed and vilify the oppressor. We say.." Never again". Today a good friend of mine who's gay and always convinced everyone dislikes or hates him. I asked him laughing " Every one loves you, why are you always so on guard?". He said" I have to be careful who I let in.. Some people don't care that you've never hurt them, wronged them in any way." He continued" I have to protect my partner and myself. If I'm not careful and the wrong people find out we aren't like them.." " Our house could be burnt down or we could be beaten in an alley somewhere, So I constantly guard myself." This floored me. I never even considered what it must be like to live in constant fear of persecution. What if I had to hide the fact that I had blue eyes or liked ... Meatloaf! If I didn't i might be beaten or worse. How far have we come as a society when that kind of thing exists next door. I'm not saying you have to agree with my liking of meatloaf lol. But to want to hurt me because of it... This person is truly a good man and it saddens me to think he lives like this.

If we hate good people because of their color, creed, religious beliefs or sexual orintation... We will all be bitter and alone.

Words by Sharra.

I think every relationship has its share of problems and traits that are undesirable to the other party.

Maybe, rather than trying to get our partner to see our perspective, we should love them enough to see theirs..

Sharra Dawn

Perfect

Never to be mine, yet I long to see you shine.

I hope all it takes is friendship and time.

Mired in doubt, self pity and pain.

Your joy has been dampened by life's unruly rain.

You claim that your "broke" damaged and torn.

The fabric of you is jagged and shorn.

You mend and you weave with threads made of air

Then fall back apart as if the stitches were never there.

If only you'd be the you that I see, buried inside so vibrant, alive.

The seas, they would calm, you're pain would be gone.

You're sailing would be, as smooth as could be.

This tempest you face was you all along. You punish yourself for imaginary wrongs.

You battle and rage in your own self built cage. While holding the key you beg to be free.

Forgive yourself.

God made you this way, perfect, for whatever role you must play.

So let in the light and give up the fight.

The villains been caught, this battles for naught.

You're loved and adored by friends and more, family and god a veritable hoard!

So join us and see, the person you'll be, when you open the lock and see what we see.

I think i will go to bed early tonight.

Escape to that phantasmagoric playground in my head.

A place that oddly makes more sense than this one...

Amongst the least of us.

I cried.

It felt wonderful and terrible all wrapped up in a giant box of pity.

Its been almost 10 years since I've"let it all out"

I don't really know what prompted it, a friend without judgement?

Maybe the dam just reached critical mass.

Years living as an "emotionless robot" finally took their toll?

I dived into the emotional turmoil and bathed in its tumultuous waters.

All to a friend I've known for about 6 months.

Is it chance that we met?

That we formed an instant bond?

Or proof of a divine influence.

Maybe we all have purpose, regardless of what the zealots might tell you.

A man living outside "Gods plan" Working for him nonetheless.

The idea of me.

You fell in love with an idea.

A man strong and true, filled with morals, kindness and virtue.

You liked that i'm safe, you liked that I'm there.

Whether I'd come home to you each night, you never had to care.

I respected your mind, your thoughts and your dreams.

For you though the grass, next door was more green.

You constantly searched, explored and you yearned.

As i waited each time for your inevitable return.

You never looked to see why i'd wait. Why when you left, it would never breed hate.

It was love in my heart, that constantly burned. Your happiness and joy was my sole concern

I waited one time, then twice and then three.

The pain that it caused, you may never see.

The fire in my soul may never be quenched, but this time's for good, my heart won't be wrenched..

I gave you my all.

You gave it right back.

You called me duck that couldn't even quack!

So now we move on, towards opposite poles. All that is left, are a few ashy coals.

Someday you'll see, that the idea of me, was something to value and i gave it for free.

Emotionless beast

You claim i'm a robot.

That I analyze, instead of feel.

You say I lack passion, my love isn't real.

I look, sound and act like a normal human, but you say "you must be from another planet"

What makes me less human than you? The fact that I would never knowingly hurt you?

The fact that I spent ten years helping raise a troubled child that was never my own?

Maybe its because I never beat you or belittled you.

These are the things that make me "an emotionless robot"? less than human.?

If this is whats required... Maybe I don't want to be human after all..

Used and abused.

It's funny how we know people in our life so well...

Today I get a text from the ex, small talk about who won last weeks poker game what our rockband group was called..

I knew from the moment she started texting, she wanted something.

So I waited and sure enough, "I have a big favor to ask, You probably won't do it."

With "white knight" syndrome in full swing I ask "whats that".

She wants me to go to my doctor get a refill on my pain pills, and give them to her, for her "monthly cramps".

I get them because I have two fractured vertebra. But she knows I very rarely take them.

I don't mind helping out, but this seems a little ridiculous to ask your ex whom you cheated on to help you obtain pain pills not prescribed for you...